I am Dr Tiller
No long post, just go read it, and take comfort in knowing that the fight for women's bodily autonomy is still going depsite the violence and hatred directed at it.
I may have cried a little.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Fucking hell.
As Hexy said, What kind of woman-hate do you need to be harbouring to post an ad like that (rape trigger warning)
What kind of woman-hate do you need to have to answer an ad like that?
I wish I could write up a long post about it, but frankly, Im just too sickened.
What kind of woman-hate do you need to have to answer an ad like that?
I wish I could write up a long post about it, but frankly, Im just too sickened.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
on pondering and points
I've been giving some serious thought as to why there has been such an uproar over the 'Shelia is not my sister' bag.
Leaving aside idealogical issues, I'm starting to form a vague hypothesis:
People are reacting so negatively to this because this particular branch of feminism is constantly under attack, so therefore the subscribers are sensitive to criticism leveled against them. This doesnt only hold true for supporters of Sheila Jeffries, but for most marginalised (or misunderstood, or non-mainstream, or hardline, or whatever) groups.
When something you love and deeply believe in is called into question by people who are at odds with your beliefs, it's easy and understandable to view only the perceived threat rather than trying to take a critical, analytical view of what is being said.
We're all guilty of it; we all have our triggers. Maybe what we all need to do is learn to respect the rights of other people to hold opinions that are completely at odds to our own, and to recognise that 'I dont agree' is simply an opinion, and not an attack. To mangle a quote, I dont beleive in your ideals, but I will defend to the death your right to hold them.
Heh. I wish people actually read this blog, because I'd be interested to see other people's take on it.
Leaving aside idealogical issues, I'm starting to form a vague hypothesis:
People are reacting so negatively to this because this particular branch of feminism is constantly under attack, so therefore the subscribers are sensitive to criticism leveled against them. This doesnt only hold true for supporters of Sheila Jeffries, but for most marginalised (or misunderstood, or non-mainstream, or hardline, or whatever) groups.
When something you love and deeply believe in is called into question by people who are at odds with your beliefs, it's easy and understandable to view only the perceived threat rather than trying to take a critical, analytical view of what is being said.
We're all guilty of it; we all have our triggers. Maybe what we all need to do is learn to respect the rights of other people to hold opinions that are completely at odds to our own, and to recognise that 'I dont agree' is simply an opinion, and not an attack. To mangle a quote, I dont beleive in your ideals, but I will defend to the death your right to hold them.
Heh. I wish people actually read this blog, because I'd be interested to see other people's take on it.
Live the feminist life.
I work in IT. I am female. I've worked in IT for nearly seven years. During that time I have copped misogyny from every angle. There has been sledgehammer sexism:
"Welcome to Technical Support, GIRL speaking."
"Oh hai, can I speak to a technician?"
"You are, I am fully qualified to troubleshoot and resolve any connection issue you are experiencing."
"Thanks darl, but you wouldn't understand it coz it's technical, put me through to one of the guys."
There's been subtle sexism:
"Oh, you work in IT. What made you decide that as a career option?"
And plain, straight, undeniable misogyny:
"Love, get one of the boys to fix it. Your mouth would be better on the end of my dick, and your hands cooking my dinner."
Overtime I have developed coping mechanisms and strategies to deal with all of the above issues, and everything in between. In the first instance, I am quite adept at telling people that being a vagina owner doesn't preclude me from having technical skills. I try to use the word vagina as much as possible in these moments because it really makes people uncomfortable. Not like penis. You could drop 'penis' into a conversation and no one would feel like looking at their watch and wondering how long until they could run a mile (unless that sentence was "Have I told you about the gunk dripping from my penis lately?" in which case it's the topic not the word that is causing discomfort. In more ways than one.) No, VAGINA is a wonderfully powerful word. It is absolutely female but devoid of all those feelings usually associated with women like lust, desire, sex. A vagina is a thing that cannot be understood or dominated. It is not cute and pink like a 'pussy', nor does it hint at being something to be taken like 'snatch'. A vagina is dark, mysterious, maybe it's a bit hairy. Your mother had one but your teenage sister doesn't. Vaginas are not found in porn, but in anatomy books.
By using this word when educating a person on my technical ability I have immediately put them on the back foot by taking away all notions that as a female I am weak, ruled by emotion, and a thing to be conquered. (It's difficult to ask for help from someone you are trying to be superior to) Instead I have replaced their ideas with an unknown and made them feel just a little bit uncertain about how to proceed. This opens up the communication as the power play has been eliminated and I can move forward resolving their issue or obtaining the information I require.
The subtle sexism and the blatant misogyny have been harder to deal with. My mentor once said to me, "The most important thing you can learn is to pick your battles." Her words resonated through my mind for days before I came to the clear realisation that I, on my own, cannot fight and win every battle, but I can certainly fight and lose all of them. I eventually stopped throwing myself against the immovable objects not because I wasn't an unstoppable force, but because I would be more effective working on those things I could change.
Humour has been my greatest tool. In response to the blatant misogyny type, I like to respond by saying in a cool, calm voice "I'm sorry, I am currently unable to resolve your technical issue as the dishwasher needing unpacking, I was too busy shopping, and the local men's football team all required lattes after their three course meal. Please feel free to sit and twiddle your thumbs in front of your broken PC until you are ready to apologise for being completely crap."
And why did I decide on a career in IT? Well the market for receptionists, secretaries and home makers was just too difficult to get into so I went with fixing computers instead.
Dealing with sexism and misogyny is different for everyone. It took me nearly a decade to be comfortable with my responses and what works for me will not work for everyone. The good thing about being in a Brigade is that while you're resting, your compatriots are fighting their battles. And every battle won benefits us all. With enough of us, we can win this war.
Viva La Revolution! Viva La Feminism!
"Welcome to Technical Support, GIRL speaking."
"Oh hai, can I speak to a technician?"
"You are, I am fully qualified to troubleshoot and resolve any connection issue you are experiencing."
"Thanks darl, but you wouldn't understand it coz it's technical, put me through to one of the guys."
There's been subtle sexism:
"Oh, you work in IT. What made you decide that as a career option?"
And plain, straight, undeniable misogyny:
"Love, get one of the boys to fix it. Your mouth would be better on the end of my dick, and your hands cooking my dinner."
Overtime I have developed coping mechanisms and strategies to deal with all of the above issues, and everything in between. In the first instance, I am quite adept at telling people that being a vagina owner doesn't preclude me from having technical skills. I try to use the word vagina as much as possible in these moments because it really makes people uncomfortable. Not like penis. You could drop 'penis' into a conversation and no one would feel like looking at their watch and wondering how long until they could run a mile (unless that sentence was "Have I told you about the gunk dripping from my penis lately?" in which case it's the topic not the word that is causing discomfort. In more ways than one.) No, VAGINA is a wonderfully powerful word. It is absolutely female but devoid of all those feelings usually associated with women like lust, desire, sex. A vagina is a thing that cannot be understood or dominated. It is not cute and pink like a 'pussy', nor does it hint at being something to be taken like 'snatch'. A vagina is dark, mysterious, maybe it's a bit hairy. Your mother had one but your teenage sister doesn't. Vaginas are not found in porn, but in anatomy books.
By using this word when educating a person on my technical ability I have immediately put them on the back foot by taking away all notions that as a female I am weak, ruled by emotion, and a thing to be conquered. (It's difficult to ask for help from someone you are trying to be superior to) Instead I have replaced their ideas with an unknown and made them feel just a little bit uncertain about how to proceed. This opens up the communication as the power play has been eliminated and I can move forward resolving their issue or obtaining the information I require.
The subtle sexism and the blatant misogyny have been harder to deal with. My mentor once said to me, "The most important thing you can learn is to pick your battles." Her words resonated through my mind for days before I came to the clear realisation that I, on my own, cannot fight and win every battle, but I can certainly fight and lose all of them. I eventually stopped throwing myself against the immovable objects not because I wasn't an unstoppable force, but because I would be more effective working on those things I could change.
Humour has been my greatest tool. In response to the blatant misogyny type, I like to respond by saying in a cool, calm voice "I'm sorry, I am currently unable to resolve your technical issue as the dishwasher needing unpacking, I was too busy shopping, and the local men's football team all required lattes after their three course meal. Please feel free to sit and twiddle your thumbs in front of your broken PC until you are ready to apologise for being completely crap."
And why did I decide on a career in IT? Well the market for receptionists, secretaries and home makers was just too difficult to get into so I went with fixing computers instead.
Dealing with sexism and misogyny is different for everyone. It took me nearly a decade to be comfortable with my responses and what works for me will not work for everyone. The good thing about being in a Brigade is that while you're resting, your compatriots are fighting their battles. And every battle won benefits us all. With enough of us, we can win this war.
Viva La Revolution! Viva La Feminism!
Monday, June 1, 2009
Edit: I'd like to make something clear before I begin - This is not a personal attack on Sheila Jeffreys. I'm sure she is a source of inspiration for many people, and a comfort to as many more. But telling people they are unable to disagree with or question the position taken by her or her supporters is oppressive and against everything we should be working for as intelligent, free-thinking human beings.
So there has been a collective uproar recently, over an image Hexy posted at Hexpletive, showing a slogan printed on a bag that was available for purchase at a sex worker convention here in Australia.
There seems to be some rather interesting interpretations of this image floating around at the moment so I'd like to get my language nerd on for a moment, and break it down a little *insert record scratching sound*:
Shelia is not my sister
The image uses the possessive 'my', indicating that the person with the bag or shirt believes that Sheila and her views are not representative of them as an individual. Not a personal attack. Not an all-encompassing statement.
Anti-sex feminists do not speak on behalf of sex workers
They don't. Someone outside of a certain sphere cannot speak on behalf those inside of the sphere. It's patronising and presumptive and paternalistic. I don't speak on behalf of sex workers, as I am not one. I do not speak on behalf of women of colour, because I am not one.
Let's try another example that makes this a lot clearer: Men do not speak on behalf of women, they advocate and support women's voices.
In this specific circumstance, someone opposed to a particular industry cannot speak 'on behalf' of those in the industry without a huge degree of the bias the radfems keep accusing Hexy of, completely negating any agency of those within it. Bias is OK as long as we can acknowlege it; We all have our own beliefs and tenets and they will invariably colour our views. It becomes problematic whenever someone presumes to speak for an entire group of people, of which they are not a part.
The anti-sex bit? Maybe I havent read enough Jeffreys, maybe I've only read the bits that are rather damning. But anyone who will actively both suggest and support the idea that all hetro sex (as well as the sex industry as a whole, completely robbing autonomous, intelligent, empowered women the ability to do what they like with their cunts, hands or electric cattle prods) is an oppressive tool of the patriarchy is, to my mind, against sex, therefore: anti-sex. There seems to be a lot of hand-wringing and pearl-clutching surrounding the term, which, if you take 5 seconds and actually think about it, is used fairly accurately in this case.
If you'll forgive me a rather flippant analogy - Im anti-foot rubs. I find them repulsive and gross and degrading and wrong. However I know people who cant get enough of them, both giving and receiving, and will occasionally pay money to get them. I'm not about to demand all people forsake foot rubs and stick to hand massages, just because I loathe them.
Sex comes in many and varied flavours; to condemn one aspect of it is utterly dismissive of those who willingly and consensually participate in that particular aspect of it. My desire to fuck my boyfriend is not a social construct. Quite frankly, if people are that concerned over who or what I put inside my vagina, then I think they need to get a less voyeuristic hobby.
There was also mention in the comments page about privilege, and how awful sex workers in Australia were being for 'poking fun' at those with less privilege. Leaving aside the groundless accusation, I thought I'd throw in a little something about privilege:
Privilege doesnt erase your voice. It means you have to acknowlege said privilege, do everything you can to dismantle it, and use your powers for good, so to speak. To some degree, privilege affords us the ability to take a step back, critically analyze a situation, and create informed opinions. And the privilege flag is a bit of a nasty one to fly - the vast majority of us have privilege in one instance or another; a perfect example is our ability to use the hyper-mega-goat-track. Does access to a global network make us privileged? You betcha. Does it make our voices less important? Not at all. Does it make our voice MORE important than the next person? Not on your life.
If the image (and Hexy's subsequent posts) had said 'Sheila is not my sister and we get together at our sex worker meetings and burn effigies of her and pass the hat around to send to 3rd world drug cartels so they can sell more women into sex slavery' then yeah, I could see why people would be getting furious, and I would too. But it didnt. It was personal opinion, something which certain parts of the femosphere seem determined to keep for themselves whilst disallowing that of others who do not agree with their position.
So there has been a collective uproar recently, over an image Hexy posted at Hexpletive, showing a slogan printed on a bag that was available for purchase at a sex worker convention here in Australia.
There seems to be some rather interesting interpretations of this image floating around at the moment so I'd like to get my language nerd on for a moment, and break it down a little *insert record scratching sound*:
Shelia is not my sister
The image uses the possessive 'my', indicating that the person with the bag or shirt believes that Sheila and her views are not representative of them as an individual. Not a personal attack. Not an all-encompassing statement.
Anti-sex feminists do not speak on behalf of sex workers
They don't. Someone outside of a certain sphere cannot speak on behalf those inside of the sphere. It's patronising and presumptive and paternalistic. I don't speak on behalf of sex workers, as I am not one. I do not speak on behalf of women of colour, because I am not one.
Let's try another example that makes this a lot clearer: Men do not speak on behalf of women, they advocate and support women's voices.
In this specific circumstance, someone opposed to a particular industry cannot speak 'on behalf' of those in the industry without a huge degree of the bias the radfems keep accusing Hexy of, completely negating any agency of those within it. Bias is OK as long as we can acknowlege it; We all have our own beliefs and tenets and they will invariably colour our views. It becomes problematic whenever someone presumes to speak for an entire group of people, of which they are not a part.
The anti-sex bit? Maybe I havent read enough Jeffreys, maybe I've only read the bits that are rather damning. But anyone who will actively both suggest and support the idea that all hetro sex (as well as the sex industry as a whole, completely robbing autonomous, intelligent, empowered women the ability to do what they like with their cunts, hands or electric cattle prods) is an oppressive tool of the patriarchy is, to my mind, against sex, therefore: anti-sex. There seems to be a lot of hand-wringing and pearl-clutching surrounding the term, which, if you take 5 seconds and actually think about it, is used fairly accurately in this case.
If you'll forgive me a rather flippant analogy - Im anti-foot rubs. I find them repulsive and gross and degrading and wrong. However I know people who cant get enough of them, both giving and receiving, and will occasionally pay money to get them. I'm not about to demand all people forsake foot rubs and stick to hand massages, just because I loathe them.
Sex comes in many and varied flavours; to condemn one aspect of it is utterly dismissive of those who willingly and consensually participate in that particular aspect of it. My desire to fuck my boyfriend is not a social construct. Quite frankly, if people are that concerned over who or what I put inside my vagina, then I think they need to get a less voyeuristic hobby.
There was also mention in the comments page about privilege, and how awful sex workers in Australia were being for 'poking fun' at those with less privilege. Leaving aside the groundless accusation, I thought I'd throw in a little something about privilege:
Privilege doesnt erase your voice. It means you have to acknowlege said privilege, do everything you can to dismantle it, and use your powers for good, so to speak. To some degree, privilege affords us the ability to take a step back, critically analyze a situation, and create informed opinions. And the privilege flag is a bit of a nasty one to fly - the vast majority of us have privilege in one instance or another; a perfect example is our ability to use the hyper-mega-goat-track. Does access to a global network make us privileged? You betcha. Does it make our voices less important? Not at all. Does it make our voice MORE important than the next person? Not on your life.
If the image (and Hexy's subsequent posts) had said 'Sheila is not my sister and we get together at our sex worker meetings and burn effigies of her and pass the hat around to send to 3rd world drug cartels so they can sell more women into sex slavery' then yeah, I could see why people would be getting furious, and I would too. But it didnt. It was personal opinion, something which certain parts of the femosphere seem determined to keep for themselves whilst disallowing that of others who do not agree with their position.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
We can word good, we can.
I present to you some accurate examples of the phrase 'very bad decisions':
- Drinking tequila shooters til 3am the night before a presentation to the CEO of a major accounting firm
- Wearing socks and sandals
- Eating the week-old thai food at the back of your fridge
Notice how none of these are hitting your girlfriend in the face?
And in other very surprising news, men of supposed good character beat on women, too. Abusers don't have a giant 'DOUCHEBAG SCUM' branded on their foreheads, though maybe we can get that happening in the future with a bit of genetic engineering.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)